NASHVILLE, TN—A bombshell report emerged this week from the Southern Baptist Convention: the denomination famous for abstinence and definitely nothing else has been harboring a secret alcohol cabinet for decades. The post Explosive Report Reveals Southern... Read more »
WICHITA, KS—Researchers have confirmed that a dad's bodily functions will become exactly thirty decibels noisier with each passing year, ad infinitum. The post Science Confirms Sounds Of Dad’s Bodily Functions Increase By 30 Decibels Every Year... Read more »
ELIZABETHTOWN, NY—A local progressive Christian confessed Monday that he was nervous about dying because he wasn't sure if St. Peter would call him by his preferred pronouns when his name is read at the final judgment. The young fae, Shiloh... Read more »
LOS ANGELES, CA—In a shocking monologue this past weekend, comedian and political commentator Bill Maher said it's time to finally start talking about whether or not the 2020 election was rigged. The post 'It's Time To Talk About... Read more »
U.S. Officials have confirmed the country’s first two cases of monkeypox, a rare but potentially serious illness causing flu-like symptoms and rashes that lead to painful pustules on the body, recent outbreaks of which have already... Read more »
NEW YORK, NY—After the spectre of another pandemic was raised by shocking reports of a new monkeypox strain, Pfizer announced they coincidentally finished their monkeypox vaccine yesterday. The post Miracle: Pfizer Announces They Just So Happened To Finish Monkeypox... Read more »
POUGHKEEPSIE, NY—After being denied holy communion by San Francisco Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone, the Church of Satan graciously reached out to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi to remind her she is still eligible to partake of the Satanic... Read more »
WASHINGTON—Quivering with excitement at the mere thought of acting as though he lived paycheck to paycheck, local politician Aaron Hastings told reporters Monday that he still got a rush every time he pretended to be like... Read more »
SAN FRANCISCO—Acknowledging the company’s overwhelmingly white culture presented “a continuing challenge,” cloud solutions provider Ultraa announced a new diversity initiative Monday that encouraged employees to lie about their race. “Here at Ultraa, we are very serious... Read more »
Scientists have identified more than 3,000 potentially harmful chemicals that can be found in food packaging, tableware, and reusable food containers, two thirds of which were not previously known to be in contact with food. What... Read more »
CHICAGO—Reflecting on anxieties he said were rooted in attachment issues from his childhood, a local man told reporters Monday that he realized his fear of committing to AirPods stemmed from nothing more than his fear of... Read more »
BROOMFIELD, CO—Noting it was a critical time for development, local woman Hailey Dobson told reporters Monday she was playing lots of Mozart during her pregnancy in the hope of making her husband smarter. “I know the... Read more »
SEATTLE—Rigorously highlighting various times, locations, and transit routes on a large stack of itineraries, urban overplanner Gary Wilkins told reporters he had issued minute-by-minute daily schedules Monday for each of Seattle’s residents. “Alright Seattle, pay attention,... Read more »
Depending on who you ask there are many ways to say grace before a meal. You show us how you pray when gathered with others and we'll tell you what that says about your theology. The post... Read more »
Is your wife a fan of HGTV's hit show Fixer Upper? Does she love watching Chip and Joanna Gaines tackle their next home renovation? Well, maybe she has a healthy enthusiasm for taking the worst house... Read more »
NEW YORK, NY—On Friday evening, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and her new fiance finally went on the double date they had been trying to coordinate with Ilhan Omar and her brother for weeks. The post Besties! AOC And New... Read more »
U.S. Soccer and the women’s and men’s national teams have announced a historic collective bargaining agreement to close the gender pay gap and assure every player, man or woman, is paid equally, a first in the... Read more »
QUEBEC – After receiving thousands of complaints related to pouring issues, bagged milk distributor Saputo has begun attaching a nipple to milk bags for increased dispensing control. The dairy giant has stepped up to save Canadians... Read more »
Justine and Vez are twin sisters, although they looked very similar when they were younger the pair now have completely different lives and style - as TikTok users are shocked... Read more »
A woman has taken to Reddit to share the 'red flag' singles should look out for when navigating their way through the world of online dating after being 'dogfished' countless times... Read more »
A recently engaged woman was aghast when her sister announced her engagement right after her own. Things got more heated when she discovered she'd booked her dream wedding venue... Read more »
Lily Scannell loves the bronzed look and regularly applies fake tan to her skin, but she's often left with blotchy patches and is told she looks like 'tiger bread' - but she doesn't care... Read more »
A talented dancer and video editor has shared a clip that shows different versions of himself dancing along while wearing various hoodies, with the colours shifting as the music progresses... Read more »
TORONTO – Karim Dabi, a recent immigrant to Canada, became an inspiration to the local new immigrant community by achieving the Canadian dream of landing a role at a tech startup in Austin,Texas Dabi, who moved... Read more »
A man had no clue as to why his daughter was experiencing difficulties recognising her name - until he walked in on his wife and mother-in-law calling her by another name... Read more »
DeeDee Villegas, from Cebu, Philippines, has hundreds of cultural tattoos across her face and body including black eyeballs. But, she's fighting against 'tattoo discrimination'... Read more »
Tattoo artist Kat Dukes, from California, has been adding dog's ashes into her grieving customer's tattoos after trying it out on herself with her late dad's cremation ashes... Read more »
Rebekah Lindsay shared a clip of herself telling a catcaller that she thought he was begging for money after a group of men started talking to her while she was walking down a street in New... Read more »
Jon DeMaria, from San Diego, US, has caused controversy online for creating a 'Dog Zapper 2000' which he honks every time the neighbour's pup barks - some call him a 'genius' and others say he's 'punishing'... Read more »
Isobel Haldane was left laughing after she discovered the face of Gandalf, the wizard from Lord of the Rings, hiding in the wooden floorboards of her holiday let... Read more »
Tetley boss Sebastian Michaelis has shared his expert advice on making a cup of tea that's fit for the Queen and perfect for an upcoming Platinum Jubilee party... Read more »
A research team from the University of California San Diego’s School of Medicine has developed a more accurate formula to calculate a dog's age - it's based on the chemical changes in the DNA as organisms... Read more »
Over half of those who have done so have had their pal show up in secret at the location - and six in ten prefer the debrief with their mates more than the actual date... Read more »
Professional chef Jeff Baker has shared his tips for getting perfectly fried bacon every time - and they'll have you rustling up bacon sarnies that are fit for the Queen... Read more »
A woman has claimed she's having issues with her neighbours over noise, as they have a new baby and are attempting to dictate what she can and can't do in her own home... Read more »
MONTREAL – “It must be seasonal allergies,” says 25-year-old Kyle Miller, as he blows his nose and coughs. Miller has never before had any seasonal allergies, but he does have tickets to a Vampire Weekend concert... Read more »