FUNNY NEWS

SPRINGFIELD, MO — A congregation sat in suspense during the Sunday morning service over the weekend, as church members grew curious about where the pastor's reference to the 1997 film Anaconda was going.... Read more »

ORANGE, CA — A new episode of HGTV's House Hunters was derailed yesterday after BlackRock quickly purchased all three of the potential properties.... Read more »

With all of the debate raging over the Department of Government Efficiency requiring all federal employees to respond to an email with a list of things they did during the week, everyone has been left to... Read more »

NEW YORK—With thousands flocking to social media to discuss a scene from the popular HBO series in which a character’s brow is slightly furrowed, an almost imperceptible facial expression is said to have sent a shock... Read more »

WASHINGTON, D.C. — America's new golden age came screeching to an unexpected halt today, as news broke that President Donald Trump had been fired for forgetting to reply to Elon Musk's email.... Read more »

LONDON — Tech consumers across the pond were recently startled to learn that the Apple Watch being sold in the UK would now warn when wearers' heart rates react inappropriately to a racist meme.... Read more »

WASHINGTON—In an attempt to raise morale by providing a fun yet challenging activity for employees of the U.S. DOGE Service, Elon Musk announced Monday a new office-wide contest to guess how many sperm were contained inside... Read more »

VATICAN CITY — As the world waited to hear more about the condition of the ailing Pope Francis, rumors circulated that conservative media personality Matt Walsh was now considered to be the frontrunner to become the... Read more »

OUTER RIM — Following a sudden rise in rank, Admiral Firmus Piett was faced with his most challenging mission yet: sending Lord Vader an e-mail with approximately five bullet points detailing what he accomplished the previous... Read more »

KFC, formerly known as Kentucky Fried Chicken, is leaving its namesake state, moving its corporate headquarters to Plano, TX from Louisville, KY. What do you think? The post KFC Leaves Kentucky appeared first on The Onion.... Read more »

NEW YORK—Warning that their sudden desire for a new sports car could leave you completely broke, many financial experts now recommend setting aside an emergency fund they can bilk you out of, reports confirmed Monday. “Many... Read more »

Serving as a parent volunteer is a great way to bolster your child’s education as well as give back. The Onion shares tips for getting involved at your child’s school. Donate unwanted frogs and other dissectable... Read more »

ORLANDO, FL—Emphasizing that he absolutely would not tolerate another away game that ended with over $200 in room charges, Washington Wizards coach Brian Keefe reportedly reminded his team Sunday that the bottled water in their hotel wasn’t free.... Read more »

MURRIETA, CA—Reiterating his unwavering message about the importance of staying quiet during the cool parts of the movie, local boyfriend Sean Cohen reportedly didn’t want to talk Monday during the scene where they’re blowing up the... Read more »

WASHINGTON—With the elected officials trying their hardest not to move a muscle, reports confirmed Monday that top Democratic leaders in Congress were standing real still in hopes that the American people wouldn’t notice them. “Don’t make... Read more »

Despite calls for his resignation, New York City mayor Eric Adams has stated he is “not going anywhere.” Here is everything you need to know about Adams.  Nickname: This fuckin’ guy  Religion: Born-again MAGA Second-In-Command: Whoever... Read more »

President Trump appeared to blame Ukraine’s leaders for the three year war with Russia, arguing Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky “should have never started it.” What do you think? The post Trump Claims Ukraine Started War appeared... Read more »

OJAI, CA—Seeking an immediate injunction against the American actor and director, It Ends With Us star Justin Baldoni announced Friday that he was suing It Ends With Us star Justin Baldoni for getting him into this... Read more »

WASHINGTON—Amid efforts to prove himself as an effective chair of the performing arts organization, President Donald Trump was reportedly unable to focus in a national security meeting Friday, distracted by the pressure of booking the Kennedy... Read more »

Baba Vanga, a blind mystic from Bulgaria, has made some eerily accurate predictions, including the death of Princess Diana and the Covid pandemic - and she's also had her say on Vladimir Putin... Read more »

Nail technician Minh Thai, who is known on social media for sharing his unusual client stories, took to social media to call out one entitled client after she expressed her bizarre expectation... Read more »

A dad has been left flabbergasted after forking out for some burgers at a popular airport. He shared a video online showing the amount of food he got for his money... Read more »

If you're up for a brainteaser challenge, then look no further because this picture of three women is set to blow your mind. You have to figure out who is the richest by looking at their... Read more »

There's nothing better than a freshly made scone topped with jam, and luckily, they're very easy to make yourself at home - but one ingredient will make them even better... Read more »

The kettle is said to be 'easy to use' and has a 'beautiful finish'... Read more »

Looking for a little retail therapy while on your lunch break? Our team of fashion and beauty experts are here to help you out with the one buy you should add to your basket today... Read more »

McDonald's is one of the most famous restaurant chains in the whole world, beloved by billions, but for some of its staff members, certain customer habits make for a frustrating day at work... Read more »

A home maintenance expert has shared four easy ways to clean your gutters without having to take your feet off the ground - and it's perfect for the upcoming spring season... Read more »

A woman has shared how she gave her twin daughter's matching names because she didn't want one to feel 'left out' - but now she has started to regret her decision... Read more »

Travel-obsessed Americans visited Liverpool for the second time to investigate whether it really is the 'UK's friendliest city' as they have been previously assured... Read more »

Today's horoscope for Tuesday, February 25, will see Virgo resolve a situation, while Libra strengthens relationships.... Read more »

Cadbury's has had the nation in hysterics over a clever rebrand which sees its mega-sized bars unevenly divided up among sharers... Read more »

Feeding the birds is one thing, but trying to keep the squirrels out of their way is another - but it can be done with this little-known trick... Read more »

American businessman and TV personality Mark Cuban is co-owner of the NBA's Dallas Mavericks as well as 2929 Entertainment, and has a cool $5.7 billion to his name... Read more »

EDMONTON – Local woman Melissa Orlon has reported that she is “over the moon” and “soooo blown away” by the depth of familiarity, passion and expertise her date of last night had for the online betting... Read more »

A woman has shared how her new pendant lampshade she'd bought for her bedroom had an unexpected similarity to a famous face with its distinctive detail - and people are in stitches... Read more »

KYIV, UKRAINE – Citing a desire to “connect face to face”, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau recently reached out to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy with an aim to “share some insights” about being invaded by a... Read more »

A mum has opened up about how she 'couldn't stop eating' after having twins, which led her to undergo a dramatic body transformation. She has spent £20K but it's divided opinions... Read more »

Ian Fleming's creation of James Bond in the 1950s spawned a string of blockbuster films, catapulting actors in the titular role to worldwide fame - but the reality of being named James Bond is quite different... Read more »