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November 24, 2021

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0:00 – Doocy to Psaki: Will Biden ever apologize to Rittenhouse?

13:10 – Who is Darrell Brooks?

33:55 – Dan & Amy take on Biden’s Department of Energy

51:09 – Dr. Chad Savage, founder of YourChoice Direct Care and policy advisor for The Heartland Institute, defends scientific inquiry 

01:08:10 – President and CEO of Young America’s Foundation and 45th Governor of Wisconsin, Scott Walker, weighs in on the tragedy in Waukesha and the Rittenhouse verdict. Catch up on Gov Walker’s Washington Times column’s here

01:24:07 – Noted economist, Stephen Moore, breaks down the supply chain and the Biden’s administration’s attack on US energy. Check out Steve’s book Trumponomics: Inside the America First Plan to Revive Our Economy

01:40:16 – The Spirit of Gratitude

01:44:15 – Jeremy Murphy, founder of 360bespoke, a PR agency in New York, former Vice President of Communications at CBS, shares Things to say to your “woke” children during the holidays. Pre-order Jeremy Murphy’s book F*ck Off, Chloe!: Surviving the OMGs! and FMLs! in Your Media Career

 

THINGS TO SAY TO YOUR “WOKE” CHILDREN DURING THE HOLIDAYS

— Let’s pay thanks to what’s important this Thanksgiving: Britney Spears’ freedom

— The Indians got syphilis on Thanksgiving. Did they complain?

— Every minute you opine, I deduct a hearing fee from your inheritance. 

— Let’s begin tonight’s feast with a prayer for whoever it is you’re praying to today

— We checked: there are no peanuts on the turkey

— Please reframe from any “micro-aggressions” tonight.

I left my magnifying glass in the basement

— Can someone turn the TV up? We can still hear what you’re saying

— I wish this remote had a “slept” button

— We have removed “White Christmas” from the play list tonight because weather is unconsciously racist

— Until society recognizes that “stuffing” is a pejorative title

and does not recognize the versatility of its composition, we will refer to it as “lightly seasoned and gently placed medley of nutritious ingredients that provide zest and flavor to a dead bird.”

— It’s so thoughtful you consider life sacred in all its forms.

Including the crocodile skin on your boots. 

— Tonight’s cranberry sauce originates from day laborers who are unionized, have pensions, and are earning 4x pay for thinking about Thanksgiving

— Good thing they put she/ hen on the label. I was worried

we’d get a he/ gobbler and promote the patriarchy 

— Let’s discuss something we all agree on: Bill DeBlasio and what a shitty mayor he has been

— It should comfort you to know that tonight’s turkey is paraben free

— We are not an able-ist household and thus have provided extra space between seating

— We have eliminated carrots from the menu because beta-carotene can discolor your skin and lead to appropriation of someone’s culture 

— It’s a miracle we even have turkey tonight. “The Twisties” struck just as I was basting

— Deforestation is depleting our planet of paper, so we kindly

ask you to wipe hands on your clothes and chair 

— In observance of human rights, we ask you to silence the phones

which Chinese slave labor have manufactured on your behalf

— Harry and Meaghan could not join us tonight, but they did send a

coupon for their upcoming Bravo series, “Super Palace Sweep”

— Put all that hot air to use and help fly a Macy’s balloon into the air 

— Are you still talking?

— You’ll be glad to know tonight’s turkey was pardoned by Kim Kardashian

— Don’t worry: the turkey’s cage was PETA approved and it was well taken care of/ fed before its head was chopped off so you can enjoy dinner

— Wait, whose house are you in? Who paid the mortgage? You’re welcome.

Now shut the f&#% up.

01:58:19 – OPEN MIC FRIDAY!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What do you think?

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Coalition Clinched. Vanishing Vessels. Averting Armageddon.

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November 24th, 2021