FUNNY NEWS

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GALLIFREY—Reports indicate that just as the fallen Doctor was regenerating into a strong, powerful, diverse female, the 14th Doctor has instead taken the form of Doctor Jordan Peterson. What was certain to be the most stunning... Read more »

UKRAINE—As Russian troops assemble at Ukraine's border ahead of a possible land invasion, President Biden has taken swift action by deploying an elite seal team to evacuate his son Hunter's money. The post Biden Administration Mounts Daring... Read more »

A statue of U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt that sat in front of New York City’s natural history museum was removed this week after criticism over its controversial image of a Native American and African man holding... Read more »

PROVO, UT—After an exhausting conversation with some friends about his church, local member of the Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter-Day Saints LaDell Ballard wished there were a shorter way members of the Church of Jesus Christ... Read more »

KIEV, UKRAINE—As Russian troops increased their threat to Ukraine’s sovereignty and independence, the Ukrainian military showed their tactical prowess by asking Kyle Rittenhouse to come and guard their border with Russia. The post Ukraine Invites Kyle... Read more »

TAMPA,FL—The NFL has implemented a controversial new rule for all games that go into overtime that is certain to change football forever. Now, instead of determining the winner by who scores the most in overtime, the... Read more »

Over the past year, tech giants like Facebook, Microsoft, and Google have invested billions of dollars into virtual reality technology. The Onion asked some of the world’s most powerful business leaders about the future of the... Read more »

TRENTON, NJ—In a landmark ruling handed down in a lower-level family court Monday, Judge Marcus Parsons ruled that a husband can in fact be held responsible for actions taken completely in his wife's fevered imagination during... Read more »

WASHINGTON, D.C.—As Russia continues to amass forces to invade Ukraine, sources say Ukrainians are feeling down about the whole situation. To help them deal with a very depressing week, White House Spokesperson Jen Psaki recommended Ukrainians... Read more »

DEARBORN, MI—As patience wore thin with the little boy’s repeated expressions of amazement and delight, sources confirmed Monday that obnoxious toddler Liam Primack was really rubbing his sense of childlike wonder in everyone’s faces. “Look, we... Read more »

NASHVILLE, TN—Troubled by the ethical implications of such an event, local woman Kennedy Feeney told reporters Monday that she was feeling doubly conflicted about attending a Harry Potter-themed plantation wedding. “She’s a close friend, but when... Read more »

IRVING, TX—Corroborating a suspicion long held by critics in the environmental movement, documents leaked Monday confirmed that ExxonMobil has known exactly which day the world would end since the 1970s. “These documents prove that for decades... Read more »

WASHINGTON—Condemning Putin’s actions across the region in the strongest possible terms, President Joe Biden vowed Monday that if Russia invaded Ukraine, the United States would invade one country of equivalent value. “Should Russia attempt any incursion... Read more »

Nineteen-year-old aviator Zara Rutherford has become the youngest woman to fly around the world solo, completing the 32,300-mile, 41-country journey in 155 days, breaking two Guinness World Records in the process. What do you think?Read more...... Read more »

LITTLE ROCK, AR—Noting that it was possible to accomplish so much more at the city and state level, pragmatic extremist Eddie Jonson stressed the importance Monday of working to assassinate local politicians. “It’s easy to feel... Read more »

CHICAGO—In an effort to ensure everything at home would be taken care of while she was on vacation, local woman Becca Hayworth, 29, reportedly asked Monday if a friend would mind coming by and assuming her... Read more »

TENNESSEE—Deepening the ties between the two institutions, a new partnership between the NFL and the U.S. military unveiled Saturday would send the first 1,000 fans who stand for the national anthem off to war. “The National... Read more »

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Addressing the nation from his dark tower, Dr. Fauci revealed today that he has been forging in secret a master vaccine to rule all the others and cover all the lands in darkness. The "One... Read more »

MEMPHIS, TN—Local man Quinton Parker went to a friend's house Friday afternoon, ready to finally play a skill-based board game perfect for strategic masterminds like himself. Unfortunately, there was a problem with the game because upon his... Read more »

Holy crap, guys!... Read more »

VANCOUVER, BC – On her commute to work, 30-year-old mother and elementary school teacher, Mya Diaz, sat in a wet seat on her B-Line bus, but reassured herself that the mysterious fluid was likely only human... Read more »

The New York Times published this story on Monday morning about a group of moms who were so tired of the pandemic that they met together to scream in a field.... Read more »

Check out this absolutely brutal clip of Democrat stan Chuck Todd discussing Biden on his NBC show "Meet the Press" yesterday:... Read more »

This will probably be the most important video you see today.... Read more »

Tell me you get all your political news from TikTok without telling me you get all your political news from TikTok:... Read more »

The author begins with a question right in the headline:... Read more »

BRUSSELS – In light of Russia’s aggressive military buildup near the Ukrainian border, Western nations have ordered their stockpiles of vague condemnations to be placed at the highest readiness level. “These are extraordinary times,” said NATO... Read more »

When someone starts out by saying "as a pro-choice pastor" you know that whatever follows is going to be an absolutely horrible take.... Read more »

What in the actual heck was this woman's goal?... Read more »

I'm just gonna leave this right here:... Read more »

Google is known the world over for its luxuriously appointed Northern California office complex—the one with countless top-dollar amenities that let employees seamlessly fold Google into every waking moment of their lives, erasing the distinction between... Read more »

Here's the latest major issue when it comes to the Biden economy, one shelf you NEVER want to see bare:... Read more »

I hate to laugh at other people's misfortune, but sometimes I make exceptions and this is pretty hilarious. During a daily update on ski conditions at Seven Springs ski resort in Pennsylvania, a woman can be... Read more »

A mum was left 'irritated' by an invite which gave parents the 'golden opportunity' for a child-free night, as she claimed the bride and groom 'dressed it up as a favour'... Read more »

A man asked his tattoo artist friend to do his new inking, the phrase 'stay humble' on his forearm, but he was left gutted after the friend managed to spell the word 'stay' wrong... Read more »

I bet you aren't as stressed out as this guy today:... Read more »

President Biden has been wrong on every foreign policy measure in 50 years, his last military action was to hand Afghanistan to terrorists, and he's struggling with historic disapproval ratings...... Read more »

WITH the ever-increasing diagnosis of young men with anxiety and depression, two of the world’s leading brands have got together to launch the world’s first antidepressant deodorant called, Lynx Happy. “Many male patients regularly forget to... Read more »

A woman has been left feeling torn after her husband kicked off when her friend won money on a scratch card they gifted her - as he thinks they deserve some of the winnings... Read more »