FUNNY NEWS
- ● Slay, Queen! Lizzo Twerks In Lincoln’s Top Hat And We Are HERE For It, Girl!
We have witnessed many beautiful sights in our day, but nothing - not even the births of our own children - can compare to the GOREGOUSNESS that was Lizzo twerking in Abraham Lincoln's top hat.... Read more »
Published: October 2, 2022 - 7:06 pm - ● Joel Osteen Releases New Brand Of Table Salt That Has Completely Lost Its Saltiness
HOUSTON, TX — Lakewood Church Pastor Joel Osteen has begun selling his own unique brand of table salt, which is completely devoid of any and all saltiness.... Read more »Published: October 2, 2022 - 6:02 pm - Trump Vows To Nominate Corn Kid As Secretary Of Agriculture After He's Reelected
MAR-A-LAGO — Former President Trump has announced "Corn Kid" will officially be his selection for Secretary of Agriculture upon re-election.... Read more »Published: October 1, 2022 - 2:59 pm - Woman Who Owns Air Fryer Goes Whole 7 Minutes Without Mentioning She Owns Air Fryer
RALEIGH, NC — Proud air fryer owner Connie Simpson went a record seven minutes today without telling anyone that she owns an air fryer.... Read more »Published: October 1, 2022 - 2:27 pm - 9 Times Chick-fil-A Employees Saved A Customer's Life In The Drive-Thru
Not all heroes wear capes, but lots of them wear red polos and goofy-looking yellow suspenders. Here we have collected nine legendary tales of when Chick-fil-A employees literally saved a customer's life in the drive-thru:... Read more »Published: October 1, 2022 - 2:07 pm - Lizzo Plays 200-Year-Old Crystal Flute Belonging To James Madison At D.C. Show
Singer and trained flutist Lizzo played a 200-year-old crystal flute made for President James Madison at her show in Washington, D.C., the instrument on loan fro the Library of Congress, which has the largest flute collection... Read more »Published: September 30, 2022 - 9:10 pm
- Officer Claims He Cracked Open Man’s Skull To Check For Drugs
KNOXVILLE, TN—Insisting he had probable cause to search the 19-year-old’s braincase, police officer Patrick O’Shea explained to his precinct captain Friday that he had cracked open the skull of local man Dante Singleton to check for... Read more » - Kamala Harris Briefly Ponders Stepping Across DMZ To Whatever Fate Awaits Her
KOREAN DEMILITARIZED ZONE—Noting that it would be so easy to transform her life in an instant, Vice President Kamala Harris reportedly briefly pondered stepping across the DMZ Friday to whatever fate would await her. “Just one... Read more » - NFL Doctors Test Tua Tagovailoa’s Mental Acuity By Seeing If He Can Sign Indemnification Agreement
CINCINNATI—Checking up on the injured player after he suffered a concussion in Thursday night’s game against the Cincinnati Bengals, NFL doctors reportedly tested the mental acuity of Miami Dolphins quarterback Tua Tagovailoa by seeing if he... Read more » - Wealthy Florida Residents Without Power Forced To Use Emergency Hand-Crank Margarita Machines
NAPLES, FL—With state power outages topping 2.6 million in the aftermath of Hurricane Ian, sources reported Thursday that wealthy Florida residents without electricity were forced to rely on their emergency hand-crank margarita machines. “Thank goodness our... Read more » - CNN’s Chief Nihilist Correspondent Gives Perspective On Why None Of This Matters
ATLANTA—In an effort to provide a more expansive insight on current events, CNN Newsroom reportedly brought on Chief Nihilist Correspondent Jean-Pierre Gauthier Friday to give greater perspective on why none of this matters. “Thanks Ana—the real... Read more » - What To Know About The Oath Keepers, On Trial For Role In January 6 Riots
Five members of the Oath Keepers, including founder Stewart Rhodes, are being tried in federal court for their role in the riots of Jan. 6, 2021. The Onion tells you everything you need to know about... Read more » - Onlookers Scream As Pit Bull Clamp’s Down On Child’s Hoagie
PHILADELPHIA—Alarmed and horrified by the dog’s sudden attack, onlookers reportedly screamed Friday as a pit bull clamped down on an 8-year-old child’s hoagie. “Stop! Stop! Someone get him off,” shouted local resident Tracy Boganski, who was... Read more » - McDonald’s To Start Offering Happy Meals For Adults
McDonald’s has announced it will be offering a new boxed meal for adults that will include a Big Mac or 10-piece McNuggets, drink, fries, and a collectible McDonald’s character figurine made in partnership with the streetwear... Read more » - Brett Favre Makes Amends By Sending Photo Of His Penis To Every Mississippian On Welfare
SUMRALL, MS—In an effort to address the backlash against his alleged participation in a massive scheme to misuse state funding, former NFL star Brett Favre on Friday was reportedly making amends by sending every Mississippian on... Read more » - Biden Issues Urgent Warning For Americans To Decide What To Be For Halloween Now
WASHINGTON—In an address to the nation in which he warned that preparations for the upcoming holiday must begin at once, President Joe Biden on Friday urged Americans to decide now what they were going to be... Read more »
Fake News:
- ● Bride wears cheap black dress at her wedding to seek revenge on her demanding in-laws
The bride's in-laws were insistent that the wedding 'went their way' - so much so that they tried to derail the woman's promotion at work out of spite - so she decided to wear a striking... Read more »Published: October 2, 2022 - 5:12 pm
- ● People blown away by 'amazing' Stranger Things Halloween display with levitating Max
Dave and Aubrey Appel spent over 1,500 hours crafting a full-blown Stranger Things display in their front garden - people have flocked to see the incredible decorations and have been left wondering how the couple managed... Read more » - ● Neighbour seeks revenge over loud party noise by hammering near next door's bedroom wall
The disgruntled neighbour was so sick of the loud music blaring next door that they decided to hammer loudly early in the mornings - people have praised them for taking action and shared their own nightmare... Read more » - ● School slammed for 'Santa Cam' rule that leaves child thinking he's being watched
The child's mother had to explain to her son that he is not being watched all of the time after his teacher told pupils there was a 'Santa Cam' in the school classroom... Read more » - ● Uh, is anyone else alarmed that hundreds of decapitated goat carcasses are showing up in a major U.S. river and nobody knows why?
Is this, like, normal for the Deep South? Does this just happen all the time down there?... Read more »
Published: October 2, 2022 - 1:30 pm - ● 'The guy I'm dating called me gross for having hairy toes - it's never bothered me'
One woman was left baffled when her date called her 'gross' and 'unhygienic' for not shaving her toes, but she insists that it's not a big issue and couldn't believe how badly the man reacted -... Read more » - ● Woman catches boyfriend cheating by listening to Alexa speaker recordings
Jessica Lowman was left stunned when she discovered multiple voice recordings on her Amazon Alexa app that caught her boyfriend having an affair with another woman - others have joked that Alexa knows 'girl code' and... Read more » - ● Single mum, 40, among 10 people with cystic fibrosis running London Marathon today
Ten people with cystic fibrosis - a life-limiting condition - are running today's race including Robyn Davidson and Jamie Fox who tell of overcoming their health challenges... Read more » - ● Greggs fanatic tries to make history by scoffing the most sausage rolls in 30 minutes
John Dawes - who even has a themed tattoo to show his love for the bakery chain - has always been a fan of sausage rolls and managed to eat 21 meat-filled pastries in 30 minute... Read more » - ● People are only just realising how to extend dishwasher drawers for tall glasses
People are baffled by this secret function on their dishwasher that gives you plenty more room for taller crockery and glassware - many say that they spent years struggling to fill their machine and now their... Read more » - ● Woman fumes as neighbour dumps dirty cat litter outside home and doesn't use bin bag
The woman did not know how to react after noticing her neighbour had dumped the dirty litter next to bins near her home without first placing it in a rubbish bag... Read more » - ● Woman had 'no idea' TV was keeping neighbour awake despite blasting noise around house
The woman said she felt mortified after realising the noise from her TV was 'too loud' as she had no idea, but people suggested she should have known, given how she was using the device... Read more » - ● London Marathon 2022: Pubs and restaurants to visit along 26 mile route
From a restaurant offering seasonal produce to one selling Korean-style hot dogs, there are so many great places to stop for a drink and some food along the route of the London Marathon... Read more » - ● Teacher urges parents not to let kids give out birthday party invites during class
A teacher has gone viral after sharing a video on TikTok where she said how upsetting it can be to see the kids who have not been invited as many become devastated... Read more » - ● Dad's cold spoon rule for making cup of tea has many people scratching their heads
A social media user has divided fellow Brits after sharing the very particular rule their dad had for making a cup of tea - as some were left baffled by the idea... Read more » - ● Man who 'had alien encounter as a child' has spent years seeking answers
Ben Walgate, 35, from Malton, North Yorkshire, set up YouTube channel 401 Files several years ago and investigates UFO and alien hotspots across the UK, reporting back to his subscribers... Read more » - ● Fuming mum ditches baby shower after in-laws don't let her eat and call her a 'walrus'
The pregnant woman was horrified by the behaviour of her mother-in-law who insulted her and attempted to control what she ate at the celebratory event thrown for her... Read more »
Real (Ridiculous) News:
- A.F. Branco Cartoon – Joe Unplugged
At the White House Hunger conference, Biden calls out for For Jackie who passed away. Unplugged Teleprompter? Political cartoon by..... Read more »Published: October 1, 2022 - 1:00 pm
- Hurricane Ron?
The post Hurricane Ron? appeared first on WND.... Read more »
Published: September 30, 2022 - 10:50 pm - Democrats' dirty deeds
The post Democrats' dirty deeds appeared first on WND.... Read more »Published: September 29, 2022 - 10:39 pm - A mean green machine
The post A mean green machine appeared first on WND.... Read more »Published: September 28, 2022 - 10:44 pm - A little wokester
The post A little wokester appeared first on WND.... Read more »Published: September 27, 2022 - 10:46 pm - Campaign-season masks
The post Campaign-season masks appeared first on WND.... Read more »Published: September 26, 2022 - 11:04 pm - White House cleanup team
The post White House cleanup team appeared first on WND.... Read more »Published: September 26, 2022 - 11:02 pm - Venezuelan prison reform
The post Venezuelan prison reform appeared first on WND.... Read more »Published: September 22, 2022 - 10:37 pm - Democratic logic
The post Democratic logic appeared first on WND.... Read more »Published: September 22, 2022 - 10:36 pm - Silent voter
SUPPORT TRUTHFUL JOURNALISM. MAKE A DONATION TO THE NONPROFIT WND NEWS CENTER. THANK YOU! The post Silent voter appeared first on WND.... Read more »Published: September 21, 2022 - 9:40 pm
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