FUNNY NEWS

U.S.—Spirit Halloween has opened up thousands of new venues on the empty grocery store shelves across the country, sources confirmed Friday. The pop-up Halloween stores showed up overnight, hanging banners along bread aisles, toilet paper aisles,... Read more »

BRAZIL VOWS TO DESTROY ASTEROID BEFORE IT HITS! The asteroid, designated KZ1055, will slam into Earth after passing by our moon. NASA says the asteroid is the size of an aircraft carrier, ... READ MORE The post ASTEROID... Read more »

SECRET CAVE—Al-Qaeda is still around and plotting against the U.S., and now they know exactly how to hurt us. This time, they’re threatening to release an extremely politically incorrect comedy special. The post Al-Qaeda To Destabilize... Read more »

The FDA has authorized the sale of Vuse Solo e-cigarettes and tobacco-flavored pods, explaining that the benefits for adults trying to quit smoking outweigh the risks to young people, while also stressing that authorization does not... Read more »

A partially destroyed Banksy painting, Love Is In The Bin, has sold at auction for $25.4 million, more than 18 times what it went for three years ago when it was sold just before the piece was... Read more »

Over the past several years, interest has grown in investing in companies that meet the guidelines for ESG, or environmental, social, and governance, but in practice it can be confusing and even controversial. The Onion provides... Read more »

WASHINGTON—Paving the way for the committee to seek criminal charges against the political advisor, former Trump strategist Steve Bannon defied a subpoena from the January 6 Select Committee on the grounds that he would be digesting... Read more »

For decades, there’s been one question that’s tortured gamers of all ages and stripes: How did the original team of developers behind Goldeneye 007 make out? Well, after a robust inquiry put forth by our investigative... Read more »

The CIA gained intimate access to your development by detaining your parents at a black site and pretending to be them for decades.Read more...... Read more »

PR 0201 B—Issuing their latest denunciation in a long string of statements deploring the treatment of living, sentient beings, intergalactic animal rights groups reportedly condemned the use of a brutal, unsanitary planet Friday to raise human... Read more »

NEVER BEFORE TEACHINGS & ELECTRIFYING PROPHECIES JERUSALEM — In the mountains outside the city, archaeologists found fragments of a 2,000-year-old letter written by Jesus. Fourteen religious experts confirmed that the ... READ MORE The post 2,000-YEAR-OLD... Read more »

CHICAGO—Touting the new product as a nourishing and blazing-hot way to give newborns their daily nutrients, Similac introduced a new ghost pepper infant formula this week. “Our new formula contains 70% of a growing baby’s daily... Read more »

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MADISON, NC—Noting that the new formula provides immediate relief to those prone to dry skin, itchiness, or rashes, weapons manufacturer Remington announced a new line of ammunition Friday made for sensitive skin. “Our new ammunition ensures... Read more »

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration is pushing manufacturers to cut salt levels by an average of 12% in mostly processed and take-out food to address a growing epidemic of preventable health issues in Americans caused... Read more »

U.S.—Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram have all confirmed they have banned a young peasant child from their social networks after he pointed out that the emperor has no clothes. The post Boy Who Pointed Out The... Read more »

MENIFEE, CA—Local unemployed cat Autumn got another good day's rest Thursday in preparation for a long evening running up and down the stairs at random times. "Sporadically running upstairs, and then downstairs, and then upstairs again... Read more »

PACIFIC OCEAN—With a tremendous backlog at Long Beach and dozens of cargo ships helplessly stranded in the ocean waiting to be unloaded, the bored crews have arranged their ships to form the words of the patriotic... Read more »

FORBIDDEN FOREST—It seemed a time for celebration: Adventurers encountered several giant spiders and slew them. But soon after, the whole land became overrun with bothersome giant flies. The post Concerning Growth In Number Of Giant Flies... Read more »

Picture the moderately nightmarish scenario of discovering a highly venomous rattlesnake living under your home. Now multiply that by 10. Now multiply that by more than nine.... Read more »

It's always a good idea to check your receipts after paying up at the grocery store:... Read more »

This is some utter garbage right here, and you know it:... Read more »

GUELPH, ONT. – Family patriarch, Dominic Barker found himself gripped by otherworldly terror upon witnessing the inferior craftsmanship inside the ‘Hell House Experience’ at his local community fun fair. The visibly distraught 54-year-old woodworker and mason... Read more »

It is so weird and inexplicable how proponents of critical race theory insist that it's just an arcane, little-known academic discipline in higher education and yet it keeps popping up in essentially every major institution in... Read more »

Apple forged a worldwide brand for itself as a think-outside-the-box kind of company, but these days it can be found firmly inside the box Communist China has created for it:... Read more »

You know that health-nut buddy you have who's obsessed with being fit, tracking his biometrics and relentlessly working to ensure he remains at peak physical condition?... Read more »

That supply chain crisis has added a new nickname for our very popular and wise president!... Read more »

I have just... never heard... of such a thing:... Read more »

In what will surely be deemed a harrowing and terrifying Assault on Democracy™, a group of aggressive left-wing protesters attempted to physically occupy the Department of the Interior building on Thursday as a means to further... Read more »

Tony Ferguson and his wife Beth were both forced to leave a ghost hunt at Fort Gilkicker in Gosport, Hampshire, after video footage 'captured a ghost trying to electrocute Tony'... Read more »

Move over, "pregnant people, "birthing people," and "chestfeeders," there's a new name in town!... Read more »

WWN can confirm that famed spiritual medium Derek Acorah has no upcoming TV projects in the works, with many believing that the Most Haunted star may have lost his spirit-contacting mojo in recent years. “Granted, Derek... Read more »

IT’S THE biggest TV show on the planet at the minute and WWN simply wouldn’t be doing its job as a clickbait news outlet if it didn’t try to monetise Squid Game. We’re pretty confident we’re... Read more »

MICA-struck homeowners in the north west have been told that there’s a certain amount of ‘Donegal Dosh’ in the kitty for either the rebuilding of their homes or the construction of a new rail corridor, whichever... Read more »

RADIO stations the world over have vowed today to continually repeat Adeles new single over and over again until ‘you puke your fucking ring up’, WWN reports. Parking Ed Sheeran’s played-to-death track Bad Habits for a... Read more »

Travelodge's October half term sale has rooms for £29 or less which includes family rooms and stays during the Halloween weekend - but you'll want to book sooner rather than later... Read more »

New Zealand has always been a little kooky, haven't they?... Read more »

This story is out of Glasgow, Scotland:... Read more »

Score one for Catholics in the U.S. Military, thanks to Archbishop for the Military Services Timothy P. Broglio:... Read more »